I read Kenra Daniels post at WG2E on keeping your blog focused. It was just what I needed to read. Getting back up into blogging mode this New Year has been difficult. I could say I had writer’s block but that wouldn’t be true; more like blogger’s block, because I have been writing—a lot—on a new novel and editing my first novel coming out this spring—just not posting on my blog.
I needed a blog break.
In January, I was on a writer’s panel at my local Sisters-in-Crime meeting. It was invigorating and fun. I was asked to share a short story and I chose the one I first had published many years ago, but not before going over it—and editing it, again.
Now, I am going through the process of publishing my first novel with Oak Tree Press and I just finished the final go-through editing stage. OMG how many changes can I find? It was embarrassing when I thought I had caught all the errors before I sent it in. Does the editing process ever end?
Then self doubt set in and I froze into a puddle of muddle.
I realized it is because I am still growing as a writer, still finding new ways to hone my craft, and what was good ten years ago or last year needs more work this year. Writers continuously evolve, or need to, and there is no static point you reach where you have arrived and your work will forever thereafter be perfect.
So, I thought that would be the end of my post today, but noooo—(I have to be honest here –well I don’t have to be but I am going to be in case it can help some other author at this stage of their writing career)—there’s more.
I began to panic this weekend at the thought of doing the promotion part of being an author. Going out to promote, what me? By myself ? (my Libra talking here)
So, my friend had to talk me down off the ledge this morning when I thought I can’t do the promotion thing. All you introverts will understand.
This morning, I read Kristen Lamb’s blog about putting flaws into your characters to create that push-pull in your writing to make it emotionally powerful. Isn’t that what happens when we doubt our writing—or our ability to promote? We allow powerful emotions to get between us and our progress—the push-pull of, I’ve got it handled versus I can’t do that or I’m not good enough?
Maybe you have self-defeating thoughts that grab you by the throat and try to undermine your progress. I think we all suffer from these moments and all we can do is rest a bit and pick our self up, dust our self off and start all over again. Keep on keeping on. One foot in front of the other, etc. etc.
Do you ever go through
deadly self doubt self-examination
phases when you think all your work is trash not up to snuff and you can’t
write and everything you have ever written isn’t worth the paper it’s printed
on, or, what me promote my book? Isn’t that what publishers are
supposed to do? What happened to the good old days?
Tell me I am not the only one who gets these moments. Please—so I don’t crawl back up onto that ledge.